I am SAF

Mark Lopez
'I am dead because there are dangers lurking in our midst, and I have to be used to shield everyone else against that danger'

     I am SAF.  

Right now I am dead. My body is riddled with bullets. My heart was punctured, my brain obliterated, and my soul is now wandering and wondering.

My blood is all over the marshes of Mamasapano, and slowly trickling down into the hands of those who betrayed me.

I am now lifeless. My family is now fatherless and brotherless, and this government has one less police to worry about.

I am dead, not because I want to, but because I have to. I am dead, not for my sake but for the sake of peace, and for the sake of everyone in this country.

I am dead because I followed an order. Just like that.

As what was said in a movie about police, I follow orders, or people die. In my case, I was the one who ended up dead.

I am dead because an armed struggle cannot be resolved. I am dead because there are dangers lurking in our midst, and I have to be used to shield everyone else against that danger.

I am dead because my leaders say I have to be dead, in order for their greed and ambition to remain alive. I have to die mercilessly and senselessly, because somebody up in our chain of command must live irresponsibly and shamelessly.

Relatives cry at the coffin of one of the 44 police commandos killed in a botched anti-terror operation during a necrological service at the Camp Bagong Diwa on January 30, 2015. Photo by Noel Celis/AFP

Am I the only one who died? Perhaps not. Truth, decency, nobility and the sense of responsibility also died with me – their importance punctured, their worth obliterated, and their meaning now wandering and wondering.

I am dead, and I am now silenced forever. But when you look into my remains, know that I am screaming, that I am shouting, that I am clamoring for the truth to come out!

I can no longer speak. But my death speaks its own message.

Maybe I did not die in vain. Maybe with my demise, my countrymen will rise.

I hope my death becomes a springboard for action.

I hope not to become just a statistic, not just a body count, not just collateral damage, and not just a casualty of war.

I hope my death would make a difference.

I hope my death would bring change.

With my departure, I hope my fellow Filipinos will become aware, and will be awakened from their stupor of indifference and discord.

Because now that I am dead, it is up to you to keep my cause alive.

I am SAF. – Rappler.com 

Mark Anthony DC Lopez, 46 years old, is a certified 80s “bagets,” now keyboard warrior, whose lifelong aspiration is a government of the people, for the people and by the people, especially for his only grandson Marco. 

iSpeak is Rappler’s platform for sharing ideas, sparking discussions, and taking action! Share your iSpeak articles with us: move.ph@rappler.com.

Tell us what you think about this iSpeak article in the comments section below.