[OPINION] I am a daughter in support of divorce

My parents are separated. 

To anyone living elsewhere in the world, this would bring about confusion, mostly because I don’t ever use the word ‘divorced.’ Legally, they’re still together, and have been since I was born. Hopefully, with the divorce bill, this is soon to change. (READ: Divorce bill hurdles House committee level)

This topic is personal for so many, and it’d be hypocritical to say that I’m writing this void of any personal benefit from this bill being passed, so I’d like to thoroughly state the basis of my opinion and ask for your understanding before doing so.

I understand that many may see this as an unholy act, as it ends the holy matrimony of two individuals in love, but I’d like to propose another perspective. A good marriage is based on love, and though I’ve never fully taken a religion class, I think I’m in the right to conclude that love is the basis for Christianity as well. (READ: ‘Til divorce do us part?’ PH struggles to marry religion and reality)

I’m much too young to know, but I’d like to think most people get married as a pursuit of happiness, hoping for a life filled with more laughter, joy, and subsequently, more love. I don’t suppose many get married with the thought of getting divorced. Despite not having happily married parents, I’ve never grown cynical towards the notion because I don’t think there’s anything comparable to presenting your love as a legally binding document. You’ve chosen to spend your life with this one other person, and this is just one act of commitment towards that. 

For some people, however, the same marriage that they were once so adamantly passionate about becomes quite the opposite. It can become the obstacle that obstructs your path to your happiness instead of providing it. This romantic love can end – which was the case for my parents.

When asked about annulment and divorce, I’ve always stated that I prefer divorce because it at least accounts for the time when the love was still there. The marriage was good once, but it no longer is, and forcing a couple to stay together for the sake of staying together can negatively affect all parties involved – even the kids. I have other friends with divorced parents, and they’ve told me countless times that their family is happier now that their parents aren’t forced to stay together. Because they were given this choice, their family was able to find love in their own way. The once happy marriage that turned foul was able to sprout into something healthy once more. (READ: Hontiveros: Divorce bill is ‘pro-family, pro-children’)

And when it’s all boiled down, marriage is still about two people. It’s still about giving them the right to find their love. When the love is no longer there, and the two must stay together, they suffer because there is no more room for growth. I can proudly say that I hold no resentment towards my father despite his absence, but even with this in mind, I can say with confidence that I still cannot imagine my parents being happy living together in the same household. It would clip their wings and ultimately would have led to a toxic environment, likely resulting in future problems for the kids and the couple. 

My mum raised my sister and I on her own, living without her husband, but I promise you that our family had lots of love, with plenty to spare. My mother not having to stay in a place (both mentally and physically) where she didn’t want to be let her find love in her children, friends, and family – and I personally don’t see this as a lesser love than a happy marriage.  

I can’t speak for all families when saying divorce would be the best option, but for ours it can be, and I believe each family should be given the choice to make that decision on their own. Having divorce is an opportunity for those who are willing to take it, and shouldn’t be something of concern if a marriage is happy to begin with. – Rappler.com

Andrea Concepcion is a 17-year-old student of the IB Diploma Program in one of Manila’s international schools. She hopes to broaden her horizons through understanding others.