Jeremy has a master’s degree in law from Oxford University. A banker of 37 years who worked in 3 continents, he has been training with Dr Holmes for the last 10 years as co-lecturer and, occasionally, as co-therapist, especially with clients whose financial concerns intrude into their daily lives
Together, they have written two books: Love Triangles: Understanding the Macho-Mistress Mentality and Imported Love: Filipino-Foreign Liaisons.
Dear Dr Holmes and Mr Baer,
I have big dick – 9 inches long. I know because I measured it. Friends have also measured it, both males and females. This is not something I brag about. I am writing you because it is a problem for me.
Here’s why: women are scared of it. The minute they see it, they get frightened. Nothing I say helps them. One woman even ran away from the room we were in.
Some women refuse to have sex after they see it. The times I can convince them to give it a try, it is still unsatisfactory. I cannot push it in as much as I want.
Sometimes I think I may get lucky. The woman is very drunk, and might agree to anything. But the minute she sees my manhood she sobers up and that makes me even more upset.
Trouble is, if I lose my temper, or if I push in too deep, it’s game over. The girl cries so I lose my erection. Any suggestions?
You are to be commended for demonstrating that penis size is not necessarily a question of “the more the merrier” and indeed instead of being a boon it can be a terrible bane. Your story will probably be a veritable eye opener to many men who are dissatisfied with what nature gave them and believe that a larger penis would bring them more partners and more pleasure.
Hopefully, your illustration that size can actually be a negative will help them come to terms with their lot and concentrate on making the best of what they have rather than fantasizing about the unattainable.
Your experience to date has been unsatisfactory but that may simply be because of the sample of women you have met. After all, just as there are men like yourself with big penises, so there are women with large vaginas. In addition, there are women who self identify as “size queens.”
While you consider how best to meet such women in this internet age (hint, hint), Dr Holmes has some excellent advice on improving your sex life now.
All the best,
Thank you very much for your letter.
In truth, your letter is quite easy to answer. You want to know if there are ways you can have a satisfactory sex life. You have concluded that the reason it is terrible is because of women’s reaction to your penis. It is so big that they get scared and don’t want to have sex with you when they see it.
Now, let us deal with possible solutions to this:
Dr. Kaplan, the late director of the Whitney Sex Therapy Unit of Cornell Medical Center, spoke of the solution they came up with for American servicemen who had been in the Vietnam War and brought home Vietnamese wives. Her answer to the size problem was for the man to wear a cock ring (of sorts) which signals just how deeply a man can push into his partner without hurting her.
You can make your own version of a cock ring — you can even just mark the deepest you can thrust with a pentel pen – and in time, especially if your partners realize you are just as concerned about their feelings and not just your own, they will learn to relax with you and be willing to do even more adventurous things.
Another way to minimize their reservations and increase their confidence is to use sexual positions that they prefer. Usually these will be positions where they have the most, if not total, control of the action. Check out the cowgirl or reverse cowgirl positions. However, even the more “ordinary” female superior position will do.
Another way is to lubricate your partner’s hands and have her create a “canal” right at the entrance of her vagina. You enter your penis through her hands which provide extra inches that your penis can enjoy. Hopefully, these extra inches supplied by her hands will seem (almost) as good as going in even more deeply into her vagina.
But in my opinion, best of all is the solution Mr Baer suggests: Have sex with a woman who loooooves a penis as big as yours!!
I know you are interested mainly in the logistics of sex with a huge penis, but sex is never just about “the plumbing” – even your issue has less to do with how your penis fits into your partner’s vagina, but how you both can accommodate this both physically and emotionally.
Please remember that your intercourse and certainly your penis is not the only instrument of joy — both for the giving and the getting of it. You have fingers, a tongue, your anus, earlobes, thighs, and so many other body parts (as does your partner) which can both give and receive sexual pleasure. If you stop saying to yourself that these alternatives to sexual intercourse are merely second best, then hopefully you can forget yourself enough to be “in the moment” and enjoy yourself more.
All the best,
Need advice from our Two Pronged duo? Email firstname.lastname@example.org with subject heading TWO PRONGED. Unfortunately, the volume of correspondence precludes a personal response.
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