#AskMargie: May-December relationships (Freddie Aguilar)

In this episode of #AskMargie, Dr. Margie Holmes talks about Freddie Aguilar's May-December relationship with a 16-year-old

MANILA, Philippines – 60-year-old musician Freddie Aguilar recently admitted that he’s going out with a 16-year-old girl. The admission singer-songwriter who wrote the popular song “Anak,” sparks different kinds of reaction online.

In this episode of #AskMargie, Dr. Margie Holmes talks about Aguilar’s May-December relationship.



This week’s topic is about the raging issue on Filipino music icon Freddie Aguilar and his relationship with a 16-year-old girl.

Here’s Mei Magsino, articulating what most of us felt when we heard the news.

Mei Magsino: The first reaction was shock! As if I wasn’t ready to accept the truth about the musician whose music has been a part of my childhood. And then I looked again at their photos and they seem happy. He’s not perfect. So who am I to judge him when I am not perfect too? And who could blame the girl? If I were her age and had a chance with him, I’d go straight into his arms. She’s 16 and in love, not abused, but treated like a queen. Unfortunately she’s already got thousands of haters. Freddie is getting that big share of haters too, something he doesn’t deserve from anybody.

Some accused him of being a pedophile.
BUT he isn’t. DSM V primary or exclusive sexual interest toward pubescent or pre- children; 13 or younger.

Other accused him of being a criminal. But listen to these two:

Sonny Avila, brilliant lawyer that he is, has this to say:

Sonny Avila: Before the Family Code became effective in 1988, the minimum age for marriage under the New Civil Code of the Philippines was 16 for men and 14 for women. Thus, before 1988, it was perfectly legal for Freddie to marry his 16 year old girlfriend. A lot of our grand parents married at 16 and raised families of 10, it was not unusual then. Reflecting the times, no one would have thought the relationship distasteful. The sense of distaste, I think is an adjustment to a “legal fiction” – the law determining when something is proper or not, the culture adjusting to what the law ordains is right.

Lee Soriano: It looks irregular but it’s not a ‘first.” Maybe it’s not something that we don’t see here in the city, but in the provinces it still happens…My take is just because he’s Freddie Aguilar, he’s fair game unlike of course if he were plain old Mang Freddie…at this point, the full story hasn’t really come out and I’d like to hear about it.

Lee has a point.

Could this sense of outrage be because many of us, not only familiar with, but loving his song Anak, put him on a pedestal and now feel betrayed?

Raul J. de Vera Jr.: One thing Ka Freddie is forgetting — he is a public figure, which he admitted himself (moron!) A public figure should behave in a way that he/she should be mindful of what he acts in public as he is conceived to a role model to many. Shouldn’t that be in Ka Freddie’s case?

So many referenced his iconic song “Anak.”

Mj Manuel: Nang isilang ka sa mundong ito, ka-edad ko lang magulang mo.

Jeronimo Constantina: Actually, it should be “Nung isilang ka sa mundong ito, kasing edad ko ang magulang ng magulang mo!”

@tilitay: Because it’s more than a four-decade gap, it’s not May-December. It’s like February-December affair.

FI Ohayo: I want to accept the part that they love each other, pero nandidiri ako.

Some of you said: just let the couple be.

Jakilu Tagailo: It’s their lives. Freddie can still sing even if he marries that girl and the Philippines would still be a 3rd world country with corrupt politicians. It doesn’t make a difference!

Pee Hsee: I have nothing against it. They both claimed it is love. And she is capable of sharing and giving it and there is a receiver. Just because he is Freddie we cast stones? We fall in love with our pets, sa tao pa kaya?

Bert Quibuyen: It’s none of our business. Relationships like this happen all the time. And in the case of Freddie Aguilar, even the girl’s parents are OK with it. So what’s the big fuss?

Alexandra Carmona replies: It’s a social issue, Bert. When we look deeply at troubling issues we can clarify things and also potentially help potential victims of abuse. So it IS our business and we have a right to look at that dysfunctional old man and think about what is going in his relationship with a juvenile female where the balance of power and life experience is so grossly tilted in his favor.

Perhaps, it’s also a good idea to listen to what the following say:

Mitch Ong: It bothers me that because Freddie Aguilar calls upon “love”, it is supposed to justify such a relationship. Those of us who are uncomfortable about it are anti-love, or perhaps ageist, and leaves him free to avoid explaining why he engaged in a romantic, sexual relationship with a girl, why he has once before been in a relationship with someone of a similar age.

Marian Santos-Hernandez: It’s improper. He is robbing her of her of a normal life.

@frankstupid1: Does a 16-year-old have emotional maturity enough to deal in a serious relationship?

Sandra Sesdoyro: To those saying it is okay for a 16-yr-old to have a relationship with an adult male–never mind that he is Freddie Aguilar, that they claim to love each other, that her parents gave their consent– I am sure you would be singing a different tune and screaming statutory rape if she were YOUR 16-year-old daughter.

Alessandra Gae: To each, his own. But it’s our moral/social obligation to make sure the minors aren’t taken advantage of.


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