Dealing with quarter-life crisis

Never settle. Keep going. But don’t lose sight of who you are. 

I’m writing this letter to you, 25-year-old self, as a reminder of how far you’ve reached and how far you have yet to go.

The idea of quarter-life crisis seemed unreal until it happened to you. It felt like being stuck in your day-to-day routines. You feel the hunger to do so much more but also helpless with what you have. You keep evaluating if you’re doing this right or not. This is a phase you hope you could escape as soon as possible. Still, be in the moment while it happens. It’s up to you to find the beauty in this mess. Going through a crisis means you are alive to feel so. 

When you think that you’ve overcome this crisis already, please don’t forget about these learnings:

On yourself

Above all, it’s all about yourself. 

Your happiness doesn’t rely on anyone. Find ways on how you could be happy. Remember not to be harsh on yourself, though that’s also difficult to remember. 

Keep learning by continuously having the interest to learn. The world is so huge that every person or thing out there could give you something to learn from.  

It’s okay if you don’t have a god or higher being to believe in. Don’t feel the need to be defensive to those who don’t have the same opinion as you; keep an open mind. It’s all about being a good person to others.

Take care of yourself while you’re still young. Inside and out, be gentle with yourself. You don’t want to regret about your wellbeing when it’s too late.

If things go wrong, go back to the familiar – it could be your old self, interest, or place you used to love. 

On relationships

Keeping a small circle could be one of the best decisions you’ve made. Quality over quantity, as they say.  

Keep your loved ones close to you and continuously fight for them. You are not alone because they are there to make you feel the love and support you deserve.

Love, trust, and communication are crucial and should serve as the foundation of any relationship. It’s a process maintaining this everyday but it’s worth it as long as you’re doing it for the ones you love.

Don’t cave in to the pressure of engagement, marriage, and kids. It’s not a race and you’ll get there when you’ve decided it’s already what you want. Take your personal relationship one step at a time. 

On career

Ask yourself: Are you still happy with what you do? Do you still have a purpose? Are you choosing passion over money? Remember how your idealistic and eager younger-self used to think about the so-called real world. 

Most days, work would consume your time. You might think work-life balance is inexistent but it’s up to you to manage everything. Take over the situation and don’t let the situation take over you.

If you feel like work is a routine and nothing’s new, find different avenues on where you could learn. Help yourself to get out of your comfort zone.

Of course, career supports you financially. You can save as much and as early as you can but be wise on sticking with what pays all your hard work.

Don’t settle for what you have now. Go on and on until you find what satisfies you. 

On community

It’s okay not to have a stand on every little thing there is. It’s also okay to be as vocal as you can on the tiniest details. 

Whatever you do, some people will feel like they have the right to judge you. Do whatever that makes you happy. Don’t let anyone dictate who you should be. 

Living in the times of social media could be satisfying and frustrating at the same time. It’s satisfying because you can access information with just one click; frustrating because some people tend to be narcissistic and you couldn’t care less. 

Keeping a private life is perfectly fine. Never live for virtual likes and attention. Put yourself in the real world. 

Moving forward

Dear 25-year-old self, juggling all these things and more could be crazy but this too shall pass.

Treasure the learnings and remember who you are. When situations go wrong, it’s always best to know where you’re coming from. 

It’s not about leaving a legacy for people to remember you. It’s not about them; it’s about you.

You’ve got a long way to go. You’re not too young but not too old. Keep enjoying life and stop being so serious. 

You’re just getting started. Don’t even try to perfect life but I hope you always find something worth waking up to.

Love no matter what, 

Your struggling 20-something self

– Rappler.com