Two weeks ago I had the privilege of delivering one of the keynote lectures for the 2023 International Conference on Youth Ministry. Co-organized by the Loyola School of Theology and the Don Bosco School of Theology, the event attracted more than 750 nuns, priests, campus ministers, and youth workers from different countries. It was a testament to the enduring interest of church people in young people. 

Although I was prepared for it, I had mixed feelings just when the program was about to start.

I feared that not many might be ready to listen to my empirical work. Note: this is a fact of life for me. As part of my work as a sociologist for more than a decade now, I’ve given many lectures about youth and religion. But the feeling is just different whenever I do it for the religious community. How do I convince them to think about youth and faith from the point of view of young people themselves? How do I do it without being without them thinking that I’m attacking them?

There are many sympathetic youth workers, no doubt. In fact, some are deeply involved and far more experienced than I. 

But at the same time, I also know that bringing up the sentiments of young people, especially “impolite” ones, may be readily dismissed by some. At another talk I delivered years ago, one member of the audience, a Christian living teacher, was adamant that the problem was young people themselves. She was responding to my assertion that for young people, “right living is more important than right believing.” She found it offensive.

Thankfully, my recent keynote lecture ended on a high note. During the break, some young ministers introduced themselves. They were leaders from The Feast who expressed that what I said at the podium resonated with them. Based on experience, they agreed that there are indeed young people out there who are disengaged from church not because they are faithless. Instead, they simply feel alienated by it.

It’s a reality that needs to be acknowledged. For my piece this month, allow me to share three lessons related to this reality. Some of them might be unsurprising. But just the same, they are worth revisiting if those of us in faith communities are truly concerned about the plight of young people.

Friendships

The first is the role of friendships and intimate relationships in shaping young people’s religious lives. 

It’s true that the family continues to play an important role in this regard, but friendships in times of crisis may sometimes matter more. According to the Young Adult Fertility Survey 2021, 88% of Filipino youths have “close friends.” 63% share their problems with close friends and communicate (online) with them on a regular basis.

In the context of these friendships, young people may feel more comfortable as they collectively undergo similar experiences. Think of heartbreaks, disappointments with the family, and struggles at school. In these contexts they give advice on how to move on, invoke some moral principles, and even promise to pray for each other. What this means is that the family is not the only site of religious socialization for young people. 

If we are looking for spaces where and how to do ministry, one does not have to go far: there, in their own circle of friends. 

Deeper encounter

The second lesson has to do with young people’s search for a deeper encounter with God. One study done among Filipino youth at the height of the pandemic documented their religious experience. The isolation, paradoxically, has led some to be more spiritual: “God’s love met me there, all the way through my struggles.”

This search for a deeper spiritual encounter may also explain their interest in other religious movements. This may be the case for many who grew up Catholic but are instead drawn to the youth fellowships of a megachurch. It might be the songs they sing or the support system they have. Whatever the reason, the point is that they encounter God in other communities or endeavors. 

The tendency for ministers, however, is to dismiss this attraction as shallow spirituality. But from a sociological perspective, this raises fundamental questions: What do young people mean by “deeper experiences?” What exactly are they looking for? And more critically, why can they not find it in their own parishes and communities?

I encountered these questions when I was doing interviews for my first book on Filipino Catholic youth. Throughout that study, it became clear to me that the search for a deeper experience of God is also a search for their identity — what they really believe in, what they really want to do, and what they believe their place is in this world. 

And sometimes, to be authentic means distancing from the religious institution they grew up in.

Critical thinking

Finally, we have many young people who are critically thinking about their own faith. This involves questioning the doctrines they’ve been taught, moral statements repeated in the family, and the behavior of religious leaders they encounter.

Why are they critical? 

It’s not only because they are far more educated now. There are push factors, too. These come in different forms: sex scandals, lack of transparency, political alliances, and church leaders’ silence on some issues that they may be most concerned about. Consider domestic violence, social justice, gender equality, and the role of women in the Church today.

These are just some of the issues that bother them. I’m convinced that many of you have more things to share. 

While I have no doubt that young people are in fact more critical now, I wonder if there’s enough space where they could open up without being readily judged.

Conclusion

In the course of my work as a sociologist and educator, I’ve come across many peers who are sincerely interested in young people. I meet them at conferences but also in faith communities.

But sometimes I get disappointed because the interest does not translate into anything truly useful. They still end up repeating stereotypes and asserting their “tried-and-tested” methods when it comes to dealing with the youth.

In these instances it’s the adult who knows everything. Young people are merely tabula rasa.

But nothing could be further from the truth. While I recognize that there’s a lot we adults can do to help the youth, there’s a lot too that we can learn from them. Of the many reasons I can invoke, I choose the most heartfelt to me: they are idealistic. 

It’s for this reason that they are longing for a deeper encounter with God and asking tough questions about faith. It’s also for the same reason that they are far more willing to open up to each other than to adults in their midst.

Do we really know them? Or do we simply assume we know? Sometimes, in youth ministry, all that really matters is what we truly listen to them. – Rappler.com

Jayeel Cornelio, PhD (TOYM 2021) is the Associate Dean for Research and Creative Work at the Ateneo de Manila University. Co-authored with Jose Mario Francisco, SJ, his latest book is People’s Christianity: Theological Sense and Sociological Significance. Follow him on Twitter @jayeel_cornelio.