Leila de Lima

PNoy’s hectic romantic schedule on Valentine’s Day

@I_amHolo's version of the President's Valentine's Day schedule

@I_AMHOLO. The Social Media Climber

[Holo is a satirical blogger. He also interviews Twitter personalities via the hashtags #in140char (“Twitterviews” with journalists and celebrities) and #TweetConPH (Social media conference with policymakers and advocates). You may follow his account on Twitter: @I_amHolo.]


 

MANILA, Philippines – This morning, February 14, the Office of the Executive Secretary released PNoy’s hectic romantic schedule. 

The President’s work ethic appeared to have significantly improved; he woke up as early as 4:30 in the morning.  

According to Excecutive Secretary Paquito Ochoa Jr, he heard PNoy sleep-praying shortly before waking up: “Hail to the Chief, full of Grace! The prosecution is with you…” or something to that effect.

The President then took a bath for 5 minutes. Ochoa justified the rather brief presidential shower time, saying that PNoy does not regularly shampoo for obvious reasons.

By 5 am, the Presidential convoy dropped by Dangwa to buy a bouquet of Waling-waling before proceeding to his next appointment.

The Waling-waling (Euanthe sanderiana) is being considered in Congress as the second national flower of the Philippines. Ochoa warned the bill’s author that the President will veto the bill unless the orchid’s name is changed to “Grace Lee.”

The first official function of the President for the day was a radio interview. He guested on Magic 89.9’s program “Good Times with Mo, Mojo and Grace Lee” between 6 am- 9-am.

At 12:00 nn, PNoy  appeared on GMA News TV’s Balitanghali for an exclusive interview with Grace Lee. 

At 6:30 pm, he will be interviewed, again by Grace Lee, on 24 Oras.

In between his media interviews, the President either plays PSP or his newest favorite video game, Temple Run.

Temple Run

Meanwhile, Grace Lee denied an article written by of VERA Files’ Ellen Tordesillas that she wants to marry PNoy. 

“The VERA file’s article is VERY wrong. I never uttered the words ‘altar’ or anything that might hint to desiring marriage,” Lee clarified.

“What I said is that I play Temple Run with the President. I hope everything will go well and last the full length of the video game,” she added.

“Tordesillas, being a veteran journalist, should verify what Temple Run is. It is not an altar. It is a game on iPad,” Lee explained, fuming.

Empathizing with Lee, lead prosecutor Neil Tupas assured her that he will move for the issuance of a subpoena ad testificandum addressed to Tordesillas.

But presiding senator-judge Juan Ponce Enrile, who is celebrating his birthday on February 14, said it is unnecessary. In a message for Lee, the octogenarian said: “Hija, kung hindi ngayon, kelan pa? Kung 88 years old na si PNoy at wala nang stamina? Maawa ka sa sarili mo. Gusto ko happy ka.

Divulge your source

In an itinerary released by the Office of the Excited First Lady (OEFL), Grace Lee seemed to have a busier day. Apart from her appointments as TV and radio host and official presidential interpreter, the Korean-born excited First Lady will be granting interviews left and right, day and night. 

Lee is scheduled to join the prosecution team in a press conference this afternoon at the Senate to accuse the defense of “romantic interference” with her love affair with the President.

“I demand that Ms. Ellen Tordesillas name the source who claims to have spoken to me regarding the PSG issue as this is not to be taken lightly. I strongly suspect that the defense team leaked the information,” Lee said in a text blast. 

Tordesillas claimed that Lee revealed in an off-camera talk with a TV host that the President had offered to provide her security courtesy of a team from the Presidential Security Group.

But Lee denied this, tweeting that those who concocted the story are “malignant demon monkeys” (villains in Temple Run).

Korean Day

In the afternoon, PNoy, accompanied by Lee and a group of Koreans and English tutors, will fly to the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao (ARMM) where the President will declare Valentine’s Day as Philippines-Korea Friendship Day to further bolster tourism.

Korean tourist arrivals in the Philippines reached an all-time high in 2011, attributed mainly to the President’s love affair with his 29-year old rumored girlfriend. The Tourism Department recorded 925,204 arrivals (23.62% overall share), making Koreans the top foreign visitors to date. 

In a prepared statement, the President said: “You have invaded our country. I have invaded the heart of your Grace Lee. This is a good sign to strengthen the partnership between Korea and my country. Come, it’s more fun in ARMM.”

The “Sexy Statistics” posted by the National Statistical Coordination Board (NSCB) in time for Valentine’s Day revealed that the best region for young professional males to find a single female within the same age range is in ARMM. NSCB stressed that their data did not apply to the President. PNoy met Lee in Cebu.

At night, after attending his Korean language class, the President will enjoy private time with Lee watching the hit Koreanovela City Hunter. At midnight, they will guest on Bandila’s Ikaw Na hosted by Tito Boy.

Presidential sister Kris Aquino, who is also celebrating her birthday on February 14, is expected to guest and virtually host the segment. She will briefly grill the media-savvy Lee and forever talk about herself, her annullment, the impeachment, Josh and Bimby. 

In a tweet, the younger Aquino said: “Today Feb 14 (Happy Birthday to me!), day 111, I pray for my country. God save us from Grace Lee!”

The President and Lee will head back to Malacañang after to watch DVDs with Presidential Political Adviser Ronald Llamas. 

Reliable sources say that when the sun will rise, the smoking President will not get a kiss from Lee. But the 29-year old Korean is likely to kiss his hand. – Rappler.com


The President’s Schedule, 14 February 2012

Morning  

4:30               Wake up call

4:30-4:35        Take a bath

4:35-5:00        Breakfast

5:00-6:00        Buy Waling-waling in Dangwa for Grace Lee

6:00-9:00        Radio guesting: Good Times with Mo, Mojo and Grace Lee

9:00-12:00       Play Temple Run with Grace Lee

12:00-1:00       Live TV intrview with Grace Lee: Balitanghali

                      Lunch with Grace Lee

Afternoon

1:00-2:30        Departure for ARMM (“Love is in the air” moment with Grace Lee)

2:30-3:00        (In ARMM) Major foreign policy announcement: Philippines-Korea Friendship Day

3:00-4:30        Departure for Manila (Again, “Love is in the air” moment with Grace Lee)

4:30-5:00        Monitor Grace Lee’s press conference with prosecution

5:00-6:00        (In Malacanang) Korean language lesson

Night

7:00                Live TV interview with Grace Lee: 24 Oras 

8:00-9:00        Dinner with Grace Lee over Kimchi 

9:00-10:30       Play Temple Run with Josh and Bimby

10:30-11:30     Watch Koreanovela “City Hunter”with Grace Lee

12:00               TV guesting on Bandila: With Kris Aquino and Grace Lee

1:00 onwards   DVD Marathon (Koreanovelas): With Presidential Political Adviser Ronald Llamas and Grace Lee

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