Rhian Ramos shares experience, important message on sexual harassment

MANILA, Philippines (UPDATED) – Rhian Ramos has broken her short social media silence with a lengthy Instagram post, recounting her recent experience with sexual harassment. The post in turn also shines a light on the issue of victim-blaming and encourages men and women to stand up against sexual and street harrassment.

UPDATE: On Tuesday, November 15, Rhian took to Instagram once more to thank her supporters for offering help and for sharing their own stories of harassment.

She wrote: “I’m shocked at how often it happens and how similarly we’ve all felt when it did… It just always seems that somehow, doing something comes with the possibility of it backfiring on you.

“And let’s face it, these incidents are so common and casually thought of that, if someone were to make a ‘big deal’ out of it happening to her, that’s exactly what people would think: that she’s just making a big deal.”

Rhian added that she was inspired by the women who fought back, as well as by those who didn’t get the chance to.

“I promise to do something about this problem,” wrote Rhian.

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A photo posted by Rhian Ramos (@whianwamos) on Nov 14, 2016 at 3:12am PST

Rhian’s experience

Rhian’s own experience happened two nights before her November 12 post, she said, when she decided to go out with some friends.

“On the same night, some guy was out, partying a little too hard and goes up to me and squeezes my rear,” wrote Rhian. “I always used to think of myself as a strong enough girl that if the day ever came that someone would do this to me, I’d fight back. Honestly, it’s different when you’re already in that situation. I was stunned and didn’t know what to do. Naiyak lang ako (I just cried).”

When one of her friends tried to talk to the guy, he denied that he was the offender. After talking to another friend, the man came inside and apologized.

Rhian told him: “I said that if he decides to stay, stay far away from me.

“It didn’t even make me feel any better. It was a ‘sorry I got caught, not sorry I did that’ kind of situation. Upon leaving, the same man squeezed me again and ran out. I was in tears.”

The actress tried to chase after the man, but he had already left with his car.

In her post, Rhian wrote: “This wasn’t something I was willing to let go. I couldn’t understand why a man would feel the entitlement to touch a woman without her consent. To take something from her by force. I was in slacks and a loose top. At no point did I even make eye contact with this man. What did I do to ask for this?”

But Rhian said that how she was dressed should not have made a difference: “I realized that even if I had been scantily dressed, it is not the woman’s fault that a guy would treat her that way. That moment, sir, says more about the kind of man that you are. I hated him even more for making me question myself.”

Rhian’s point about attire and consent shines a light on a common and dangerous response after a victim reports various types of harrassment and assault incidents – some women are themselves blamed for the incident because of what they were wearing.

Rhian said that she has since found out the man’s name, business, and a few details about his life. He was anonymous in her post, she said, for the sake of his daughters.

She wrote, “He’s back in Cebu now and I won’t be speaking to him personally, but he can expect a message from me before the day ends.”

Rhian finished her post with a message to anyone who might find themselves in the same situation:

“These things happen everywhere, all the time, and I want to speak to all of the people that this situation represents. To remind women not to question themselves. To remind guys to defend the honor of the girls they invite out… To remind fathers to think about what they would do if someone had touched their daughters. And to encourage men to read up on what is considered as sexual and street harassment. I hope street harassment will be penalized not only in [Quezon City], but in the rest of the Philippines as well.”