'Twisted mindset': Slater Young under fire for remarks on men fantasizing about other women

Trigger warning: The story contains themes of sexual harassment.

MANILA, Philippines – Filipinos online slammed Pinoy Big Brother: Unlimited winner Slater Young following his comments on men fantasizing about and sending photos of other women while in a relationship in a recent episode of the skypodcast with his wife, Kryz Uy.

The controversial comments were made in response to a letter sent to the couple by someone who was worried about her boyfriend admitting to “fantasizing [about] other women” and having group chats with his friends about it.

In the podcast episode that aired on May 8, Slater defended the boyfriend, saying he was “honest” about the matter.

“It’s just a matter of fact that there are many other women more attractive than you or just as attractive as you…. Those group [chats] that send photos of girls and fantasizing [about] it, it’s normal,” he said in a mix of English and Filipino.

Sharing his experiences with such group chats, Slater added: “Siyempre, as part of that group, sakyan mo lang. Wala naman, hindi mo naman gusto talaga. (Of course, as part of that group, just go along with it. You’re not actually interested.)”

In reaction to the backlash, Slater on Friday, May 12, posted on his Instagram Story a comment from a Facebook user urging others to listen to the entire episode.

“Eto po. Pakinggan bago mag-judge (Here. Listen before making judgments),” he wrote, adding a link to the podcast episode and tagging Cosmopolitan Philippines, who earlier wrote an article about his remarks.

On Saturday, May 13, social media users said the comments were “triggering,” and just because such groups chats were normal “doesn’t mean it’s okay.”

I listened to the whole podcast. It’s really triggering.
— air ༄ (@KimBabyPanda) May 12, 2023

Who's going to tell him? What if it's your wife's pic… normal lang na pag-panstasyahan ng mga lalaki sa mga gc as long as they don't act on it? Slater Young is not Slater-ing atm 😬

Not because it's normal doesn't mean it's okay. Man… https://t.co/b0bVZaiQqT
— ⋆₊ ⊹𐙚 tris 𐙚⊹₊ ⋆ (@wantutris) May 13, 2023

https://twitter.com/7_k8_9/status/1657307742145773568?s=20

They also reminded Slater that “women are not toys for entertainment” and remarked that his comments reflected “toxic masculinity at its finest.”

not slater young saying it's normal for men to have grp chats filled with photos of women 🤮 pls lang fantasizing on women and sending their photos without their consent is not and will never be normal. WOMEN ARE NOT TOYS FOR ENTERTAINMENT 🙂
— lyra ✿ (@iyaragasa_) May 13, 2023

https://twitter.com/louise_web3/status/1657293928847261696

Facebook user Katrina Quizan said that the act of fantasizing was “the same as coveting” for someone, saying it’s a “twisted mindset.”

Sociologist Ash Presto also reminded Filipinos that such acts were punishable by the Safe Spaces Act as gender-based online sexual harassment, saying Slater’s comments “[encourage] and [empower] sexual predators while doing the opposite for women and girls.”

Slater’s mindset encourages and empowers sexual predators while doing the opposite for women and girls. His words are also invalidating of, and triggering to, victim-survivors of online and image-based harassment.

This content is dangerous. We should not take this sitting down.
— Ash Presto 💜 (@sosyolohija) May 13, 2023

According to a 2020 Plan International survey, 68% of girls and young women in the Philippines have experienced online harassment on social media.

Slater and Kryz told the letter sender that she should “stop making [her worries] a big issue” if her boyfriend did not do anything wrong.

“I think you should use that time and energy instead to maybe, not the right word to say, but make yourself more attractive in that sense. Use that time and effort for yourself,” Kryz said.

Social media users also slammed Kryz for “agreeing” with her husband’s statement and asked her if she would allow such acts if they were done to her.

kryz uy reminding me that women can be mysoginists too. girlie why are u agreeing with your husband’s statement? what if that was done to you, then what?
— jelly; (@leechanranghae) May 13, 2023

what im even more disgusted is when kryz also agreed with slater like sisss u’re a woman too is it okay for u to objectify women???
— kyu (@wntrblues) May 13, 2023

Meanwhile, other users said that while admiring someone was acceptable, fantasizing about someone while in a committed relationship could “hurt their partner’s feelings,” adding that it’s a “violation of trust and commitment.”